


a backwards kind of love

by yaboring_yabasic



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Kid Fic, Peraltiago, Peraltiago AU, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-03-30 00:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19030996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaboring_yabasic/pseuds/yaboring_yabasic
Summary: jake and amy date for about a month. amy comes back five years and nine months later with a surprise guest.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based off of crosby and jasmine’s relationship in parenthood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to my first ao3 fic! i was recently re-watching parenthood while also wanting to write a peraltiago au, so here we are.
> 
> this is the prologue (it’s not directly explicit but some sexy times are implied), so stay tuned for the adventure!

hot.

“can i but you a drink?”  
“only if you have one too.”

lips.

“why are you drinking like it’s the end of the world?”  
“my last day student-teaching. you?”  
“just finished my training at the police academy.”

gasp.

“what’d you say your name was?”  
“i didn’t. it’s amy.”  
“jake.”

touch.

“your eyes look like chocolate.”  
“you have the same color eyes!”

wet.

“cuz you’re the only ten i see.”  
“you don’t need a pickup line because i’m already hooked, on your line!”  
“i’m using that one.”

peak.

“do you want to come back to my place?”  
“mmm only if we can keep making out.”

face.

“hello mtv and welcome to my crib!”  
“you’re a goof. i’m gonna keep you.”

breath.

“are you sure?”  
“positive.”

moan.

“keep going! don’t stop! please!”

curve.

“what happened last night?”  
“i think we had a one night stand.”

neck.

“do you want it to just be one night?”  
“do you?”

sweat.

“i’ll be outside your apartment at 7.”  
“and i’ll be ready for you outside my building.”  
“it’s a date.”

hair.

“let’s wait until at least our third date to sleep with each other again.”  
“that’s a fair enough deal.”

thrust.

“so we broke a rule.”  
“i hope it wasn’t a mistake.”

scream.

“how about we go out the day after your graduation, so you can spend time with your family.”  
“i’d like that.”

air.

“how many more times are we just going to wake up in the same bed?”

face.

“i am done my first official week as a beat cop!”  
“and i just got a job at the brand-new high school in my hometown.”

tangle.

“well congratulations are in order!”  
“it’s in jersey.”

passion.

“i just don’t think this is going to work out. i’m so sorry.”  
“keep my number and maybe we can get together and grab a bite to eat sometime.”

pleasure.

“i’ll see you amy.”  
“goodbye jake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed! please leave kudos & comments to let me know how i’m doing. thank you for reading.


	2. positive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amy starts to realize that something big might’ve come from her relationship with jake.

“mom i can’t go! i’m so nervous i feel like im going to throw up!”

“amy, honey,” her mother soothed. “i know it’s scary to meet the principal and get a tour of the school for your first gig teaching, but remember how excited you were when you got the job!”

“okay,” she conceded.

amy turned around and opened the drawer next to her. after a bit of fumbling she withdrew a tea bag. the orange wrapper announced that inside was ginger and turmeric tea. as she started going through the process of boiling the water mrs. santiago left the room.

the kettle whistled and amy poured the water into her favorite travel mug. just as she finished her mom came back into the room with a grey band.

she offered it to her daughter, “here wear this. it’s for nausea. there’s a spot that presses down on a nerve in your wrist to help stop feeling like you’re going to throw up.”

“thank you mom,” amy said as she sighed with relief. “let’s hope it does the trick.”

 

“and this will be your classroom,” the principal gestured. amy followed them into the empty room that was full of possibilities.  
she smiled wide, “its perfect!”

“alrighty then. i’ll leave you to it! your laptop is right there on your desk with your login. i’ll be in my office if you need anything,” the principal said before turning on their heel.

‘this is it,’ she thought. ‘everything is falling into place.’

 

a week later amy found herself in a ball on the bathroom floor. she had been moving into her new apartment and decorating her classroom for the past few days, but now her body was trying to kill her.

her pms symptoms had been plaguing her for a while now, but she was still without her period. so, amy gently picked herself up off the floor and burrowed into her duvet. even though it was summer, she needed the covers for warmth.

she reached out for her phone and brought it into her nest. amy opened up a tab and put her symptoms into google.

nausea, pms, late period. search.

amy was fully aware that she should call her doctor instead of looking up her symptoms online, but it was 3:30am and she was desperate for relief. one article title caught her eye but made her heart skip a beat.

pms vs. pregnancy: signs, symptoms, and differences.

she counted the weeks since her fling with jake on her fingers: one, two, three, four, five, and a half. this couldn’t be happening. her lungs caught up with her thoughts and she started breathing heavily.

amy knew she’d been drunk more than half of the times they slept together, but she thought at least one of them would remember a condom. adrenaline rushed through her, begging her to go to the pharmacy and buy a test.

‘damn it!’ she thought, knowing she was going to give in.

she put the bracelet her mom gave her back on to help the nausea that came with driving. as amy hopped into her car, she was plotting her route. she knew there was a cvs in the next town over which was perfect. even though it was the middle of the night, there had to be no chance that someone she knew could see her purchase.

amy drove in silence, practically zoning out as street lights blurred past her. she barely registered that she was at cvs until the sign glowed above her windshield. she quickly exited the car and walked inside.

it was late and the only thing keeping her awake were the spiraling anxieties inside her head. so, amy bee-lined for the women’s health section. she grabbed four different tests to be sure of the result and a two-pack of nausea bracelets. thankfully, there was a self-checkout counter so the shopping adventure took no longer than a few minutes.

the ride home felt a million times faster, as always. amy tore up the stairs to her apartment door. the building was five of the same one bedrooms stacked like identical pancakes and she lived right in the middle. 

before she knew it, amy was sitting on the toilet reading each test’s instructions carefully. the bag with the bracelets and receipt lay discarded in the living area. she followed every direction, set a timer after the last stick, and waited.

to say it was the longest five minutes of her life was an understatement. four years of college went faster.

after pacing around her room so determined that she briefly thought about her neighbor sleeping soundly below, her phone sounded. all she had to do was flip four tests that could change her entire life calendar.

amy reached across the bathroom floor. she wanted to know so badly, but she couldn’t bring herself to check. then amy panicked. the only reason she knew this was because twenty minutes later luis was calling out to her from the living room.

“amy? where are you? what’s wrong? whose ass do i need to kick?”

she weakly called back, “in my bathroom.”

he stood in her bedroom doorway as asked, “is it okay if i come in?”

“please,” her voice cracked.

luis quickly found her sitting on the floor, hugging her knees and pulled her into a hug. his eyes scanned the room and landed on-

“oh amy.”

she sobbed. he gently rubbed her back until his sister was calmed enough to speak.

“it was a fling,” amy started. “we met at a bar. i’d just finished student-teaching and he’d just graduated the academy. we got drunk and slept together. then we went on a date, got tipsy, and slept together. and we did it a few more times. i guess we forgot protection once or twice. now i’m nauseous and my periods late. so i freaked out and bought some tests and no i can’t see the results. i just got an amazing job and this might change my entire life, luis. i don’t know what to do!”

luis wanted to soothe her. she was his favorite sister, something he and his brothers always said because she was their only sister. but amy was also his favorite sibling, and he would do anything to help her.

“let’s start by flipping these tests over, okay?” he tried. “then we can take it step-by-step from there. i promise to be there for you, but how about we see what we’re dealing with first.”

amy nodded and reached out. she turned the one closest to the sink.

positive. her breath caught in her throat.

the next one. positive.

and the next one. positive. a single tear fell.

the last one. positive.

amy sobbed into her brother’s chest for the second time that evening.

 

the next morning, amy awoke in her bed. she was under three blankets that luis used to calm her down. she groggily padded into the kitchen were her brother was eating a bowl of cereal on the couch.

“hey,” she greeted.

“good morning,” he returned.

amy made her own bowl of oatmeal before joining him. they sat in silence for a few minutes, lost in thought.

finally luis couldn’t help but ask the question that had plagued him for the last few hours, “are you going to keep the baby?”

his sister sighed, “yeah i think so. i mean i’ve always wanted kids and i will hopefully still have a stable job.”

“okay,” luis continued. “are you going to tell the father?”

“i think i want to, but i won’t force him into this if he doesn’t want to. jake really loves his job too,” amy explained.

“last question for right now: how are you going to tell mom and dad?”

amy sighed, “i have no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! i hope everyone enjoyed the second chapter. please kudos/comments to let me know how you liked it.  
> there will be one more chapter of baby stuff before we jump ahead. i really wanted a strong foundation for this plot.  
> next chapter coming soon!


	3. motherhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amy begins her journey through motherhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize in advance for the time jumps. strap in!

to: nakatomiplaza420@yahoo.com  
from: asantiago@gmail.com  
subject: please respond asap

dear jake,

i’m sorry we had to break up. this job means a lot to me and i want you understand that. i hope your job is going well and you’re catching all of the bad guys in nyc.

listen, we really need to talk. i have something to tell you and i will only do it in person. please respond in a timely matter so we can arrange a time and place.

sincerely,  
amy santiago

she pressed send and waited. after no response for two days she tried to call him, but only got his voicemail.

“hey jake,” amy started. “um, i have something really important to tell you. i don’t want to say it over the phone so if you could please contact me through email or a phone call that would be much appreciated. thanks, bye.”

for a week she sent numerous emails and called jake at least ten times, but he ignored her every time.

“if only he knew why i was calling!” amy ranted to luis. “and i can’t just tell him over the phone or in an email. you can’t drop this kind of news on someone in a casual message like: hey how are you? i’m pregnant with your child! anyway want to go grab a pizza?”

luis sighed, “i’m so sorry amy, but i don’t think you’re going to get jake’s attention unless you go down to his precinct and ambush him. you just need decide to do this with or without him.”

“how could i possibly do this all by myself?”

“well as soon as you tell mom and dad then you have two more people on your side,” her brother pointed out. “and then you’ll have all our brothers and the entire extended family i’m sure. we all love you so much and we want to be a part of this baby’s life.”

amy wiped a tear, “i really don’t deserve you.”

“no, you deserve the whole world amy santiago. all you have to do is make it yours.”

 

as she pressed her parents’ doorbell amy’s finger almost slipped her hands were so clammy. luis stood behind her with a comforting hand on her shoulder. thoughts were flying through her head a mile a minute: what if they disowned her because this went against their religion? what if they made her abandon the baby? what if...

camila opened the door. with a warm smile, she greeted her children and ushered them inside. their father, victor, was watching the news while sitting in his recliner.

“mom, dad, we need to talk,” luis started for her.

“what’s wrong honey?” their mother asked. concern was written all over her face. victor paused the tv and turned to his children sitting on the loveseat across from him. his wife was at his side in her matching armchair.

“it’s actually not about me. it’s amy.” and with that all eyes shifted to her. her breath caught in her throat. luis reached for her hand.

“mom, dad,” she looked at the carpet beneath her and took a deep breath before finishing. “i’m pregnant.”

amy desperately searches their faces for a reaction. her parents look at each other and reach an agreement with a nod. she panicked, hoping they would still love her after this.

“who is the father, mija,” victor questioned.

she gave a weak smile, “his name is jake. he’s a cop in brooklyn and he’s really sweet.”

“are you still together?”

“well i emailed him saying i wanted to talk, but then i decided that i want to do this my myself,” amy explained.

“you’re not doing this my yourself,” camila cut in. luis squeezed his sister’s hand as they waited for what their mother meant by that remark. “you have your whole family to help you, amy.”

she teared up and moved to hug her parents, “thank you. thank you so much.”

“what did you think we were going to say?” her father asked.

“i honestly have no idea.”

 

“push!” dr. charlotte yelled. “just a few more! i can see the head!”

amy screamed and the feeling of her body being ripped in two. she gave these pushes every last once of energy she had after hours of labor. camila winced at the bone-crushing grip on her hand, but continued to encourage her daughter.

“i am going to kill him!” amy called out with one final push.

“they’re here!” dr. charlotte called out. “and she’s a girl.”

the doctor placed the baby on amy’s chest and she started crying. the delivery was an adventure from when her water broke in the middle of a family dinner to this moment with her daughter.

“hi baby,” she wept. “i’m your mommy. i love you so much!”

camila wrapped her daughter and granddaughter in a hug. “she’s so precious mija. i’m so proud of you.”

“thank you mom. for everything.”

“of course. now, let’s get the rest of our crazy family in here,” she said before going out to the waiting room with a smile. the doctors took the baby to clean her and perform some tests. once her daughter was back in her arms, amy talked to her.

“oh baby you’re so beautiful. i hope you know that i’ll love you more than the universe. you deserve everything and i will try my absolute best to make sure you get it. you’re not going to know your dad, well unless you get into trouble in brooklyn, but i’m sure that he loves you even without knowing you. it’s you and me against the world baby. we can do this.”

 

amy was hard at work grading essays on the renaissance when her daughter asked a question she’s been trying to prepare for since her birth.

“mama,” she questioned. “where’s my dad?”

her pen fell to the table and her heart stop. “well,” amy struggled to find an answer. “you know how some of your friends have parents who are married? well your dad and i had to break-up because of where our jobs were. so he lives in new york city and we live here in new jersey by your abuelos.”

the five-year-old took this information in. after a minute she quietly asked, “can i meet him?”

“i haven’t talked to him in a long time honey, so i can’t promise anything. but i will email him and see if we can meet up. does a trip to the city sound fun?” amy proposed.

her daughter cheered and continued to play on the floor. amy couldn’t focus on the poor analysis skill being demonstrated on the paper in front of her. she exhaled and fished her laptop out of her bag.

to: nakatomiplaza420@yahoo.com  
from: asantiago@gmail.com  
subject: hey

dear jake,

its been a while. how are you doing? did you make detective yet like you’d hoped?

i’m coming into the city next weekend and i was wondering if you’d like to meet up. i can swing by your apartment and we can pick somewhere to go.

please let me know,  
amy santiago  
<3

on wednesday, amy is actually surprised to find a response in her inbox. after bracing herself for the worst she opens the email.

to: asantiago@gmail.com  
from: nakatomiplaza420@yahoo.com  
subject: re: hey

hey amy! i’m doing well. actually just made detective a few months ago. i’d love to meet up with you on friday night. you can come stay at my place and we can plan a fun weekend. same apartment as before lol.

jake peralta

amy chuckles. he has no idea what he’s in for and a part of her looks forward to his reaction. in some way, jake deserves the shock.

“hey honey!” she calls into the apartment and in no time her daughter comes running toward her. “want to go see your dad this weekend?”

“he said he wants to see me?” she asks tentatively.

“um, yes he did! he’s so excited to meet you,” amy lies. she can’t explain the whole situation to her child.

“okay. i’m excited too.”

amy sends jake an email back to accept his invitation. she packs some play clothes for her daughter and some outfits for herself along with enough money for a hotel and therapy if the plan backfires.

 

after school for both of them on friday, amy packs the car and the two drive up to the city. the trip is a blur of answering questions about jake and singing along to the radio. finally, they parked in front of jake’s apartment.

“are you ready mama? we’re going to go see dad!” her daughter said excitedly.

“yeah baby let’s go!” amy said with a breath.

they grabbed their bags and headed up the elevator. her daughter pulled her small suitcase behind her because she loved the wheels. amy dropped her duffel bag just outside the door. with one long look at the child smiling next to her, she smiled and knocked on the door.

the knob turned and jake appeared. he was wearing an nypd hoodie and jeans.

“amy!” he grinned. “long time no see!”

“jake!” she reached up and hugged him. after, amy took a step back to reveal the child standing nervously behind her.

“oh!” he seemed taken aback, but leaned down to look the little girl in the eyes. “and who’s this?”

amy smiled and guided her daughter forward, “this is mariposa, but i call her mary for short. she wanted to meet her daddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally the father-daughter meeting we’ve been waiting for, and just in time for father’s day. jake’s reaction coming next chapter!


	4. butterfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jake and amy discuss their daughter and take her out for dinner.

jake’s heart skipped a beat. he looked at mary and then up to amy, who smiled at him encouragingly.

“well it’s very nice to finally meet you mary,” he grinned before anxiously fumbling. jake decided on a extending his hand that his daughter grasped and shook dramatically.

mary giggled, “nice to meet you too jake! can i please see your house?” her mother had taught her to always be polite and that no situation was an exception.

“of course! and i might even have some gummy candies that we can share later,” he offered. this was met with wide eyes from his daughter and a cocked eyebrow from his ex-girlfriend. “but first i’ll give you a tour.”

jake tried to take mary’s bag for her, but the 5-year-old loved the wheels too much. so he reached out and took amy’s duffel bag off her shoulder. she started to protest, but then just followed him into the apartment.

amy grinned, “it looks the same as it did five years ago. bring make memories.”

“good ones i hope?”

she closed her eyes and sighed. “amazing ones.”

mary tugged at her mother’s sleeve and questioned, “memories of what mama?”

jake cut in, “we, uh, had a lot of fun making pasta a few times while we were dating.”

 

after the two adults gave mary a tour and set her up in the guest room with her ipad, they sat on the couch to talk. jake faced amy with his legs crossed and she tucked her legs underneath her. he reached under the couch and procured a blanket that he passed to amy.

“you still have this?” she asked with a wide smile.

he let out a laugh, “even though we broke up i felt like i to keep it because of how much you loved it.”

they sat in silence for a while. amy knew exactly what was on his mind, but she didn’t want to put words in his mouth. finally jake ran his hands over his face and turned to face the music.

“how could you not tell me that we have a kid?” his voice cracked.

she sighed, “i tried. remember when i emailed you eighth after we broke up? and then i called and emailed, and called and email again.”

“yeah, but you still could’ve mentioned that you were pregnant!” jake argued.

“you were supposed to call me back so we could meet up.”

“how was supposed to know that you didn’t just want to hook up or something?”

amy scoffed, “you think i would email you, after we just broke up, without anything important to say?”

“like i said: i didn’t know what you wanted!”

“would you rather find out in an email?”

“well, i, uh, well,” jake stuttered.

she shook her head. “you had just gotten your dream job in the city. i loved you too much to put this on you. then when mary asked about you the other i knew i couldn’t deprive her of her father and you of your daughter.”

jake sniffled and nodded. he leaned over and reached out for her. amy met him in the middle of the couch. they hugged for a bit before pulling apart and looking into each other’s eyes.

“thank you. so much,” he whispered. “for having the guts to birth and raise this child. i would’ve never been able to do that, so thank you.”

“i barely thought twice. i wanted this too.”

“and i promise that i won’t be like my dad. if you’ll let me, i’d like to be a part of your lives.”

“of course jake.”

they each stared into the other’s matching eyes, their foreheads touched. the couple couldn’t help but smile. yeah, they weren’t doing this like a typical couple might. but both of them wanted to make this dysfunction work.

the sound of mary opening the door of the guest room she was in separated her parents. she came in and crawled into amy’s lap, wanting to be a part of whatever was happening without her.

“hi mama, hi jake,” she sang.

jake grinned at the sight of the two girls in front of him. “mary has anyone ever told you how cute you are?”

“yeah mama, and my abuelos, and tío luis say that all the time!”

amy raised an eyebrow, though, and asked jake, “is that a pickup line?”

“hey! there are not a lot of kids in my circles,” he defended. “but she’s my daughter too, so she gets an amazing combo of your cute genes and my stunning genes.” he made a wiggly motion with his shoulders.

mary giggled, even though she didn’t completely understand the joke, just because her parents were too. she got off her mother’s lap so she could crawl under the blanket in between amy and jake.

“oh butterfly you are just like me sometimes,” amy marveled.

“butterfly?” jake asked them.

mary took a deep breath before she explained, “my name is mariposa which means butterfly in spanish because i’m cuban! so mama calls me butterfly.”

he couldn’t help but laugh. “okay that is an adorable nickname, and you explain things just like amy- i mean your mom.”

“oh you should see her on bring your child to work day! she teaches my class better than i do,” amy explained.

suddenly mary’s stomach grumbled and she tugged at her mothers sleeve. before she could even ask, jake caught on to what she was about to say and cut in.

“how about we go to this amazing pizza place called sal’s pizza a few blocks down?” jake suggested, causing mary to cheer. “my dad used to take me all the time as a kid, so i thought i could bring you.”

“can we please walk so i can see the whole city?” mary wondered. her eyes were wide thinking of the possibilities that lie in brooklyn.

 

a half hour, full of detours to see some of jakes favorite place, later they arrived at the restaurant. the new family sat in a booth with amy and mary facing jake as they devoured a whole pizza. jake had insisted on buying them all large root beer floats to “wash down the meal.”

mary has hopped up on sugar when she enthusiastically agreed that they should go out to breakfast with his co-workers the next morning. although the plan was okay-ed by amy with the agreement that she orders pancakes without any chocolate chips or sprinkles on them.

once they arrived home that night, mary was tucked in by both of her parents for the first time in her life. it had been a long day, but everything seemed to have fallen into place.

jake and amy stood outside of the guest bedroom door, peering into a room lit only by a nightlight which revealed the shape of their daughter under a pile of covers.

“look what we did,” amy whispered. “we made a beautiful little butterfly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be fluffy as well. then we’ll get into some of the tortuous, but good stuff.


End file.
